BLOTS

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I can no longer remember the exact words but I can recall how Brock Lesnar defined the true meaning of friendship in reference to Kurt Angle. Brock said, "Friendship is the art of using someone to help you achieve your personal goals. Once they stop serving their purpose, they stop being your friend." I guess, after several years, my brain suddenly remembered those words after being placed in a similar situation. It's human nature, perhaps, that people will just really be there as long as they benefit from your company. Some, but not all, are really those types who will profess friendship yet when time comes that they won't need you anymore, they're gone just like that. I can't say that it's wrong but I'm definitely not saying that it's right. I guess the perfect word will be 'understandable'. In the end of the day, I think it's still a good thing to finally know what kind of an individual that person really is - for better but n

All the cards have been laid down No more questions left unanswered What you is what you get now Nothing can be altered But I still miss you here Oh I guess I really do I still want you near Yeah, nothing but you You can say it's pointless Feelings come and go I'm believe this is madness But I just want you to know That some feelings never die It's a cycle that never ends It's a twisted reality One thing we can't bend Tue, Nov 27, 2012 16:11:44 #Love #Romance #Longing #Poetry Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I watch her with my mind's eye in this very monotonous and gloomy afternoon. As my stare wanders around the room, her memories seem to roam around in every corner of my mind. She who made me feel different after a long time, the special woman whose presence brought the most unique feelings and emotions I have ever felt, she who made me feel loved - her thoughts still linger, I just can't chase them away. It was all lie, one lie after another and all misleading gestures - my mind suddenly interrupted my daydreaming. It was really foolish to believe that things can end differently when since day one, everything is already doomed to end up in the ugliest way. I was stupid back then, I guess things didn't change that much. I watch her with my mind's eye as my recollections of her flood my remaining sanity. I guess this is just the price some of us need to pay. Mon, Nov 19, 2012 17:19:25 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Pain is no longer a peculiar feeling. It has become something that's part of a daily occurance that I learned to live with, but there's one thing that puzzles me - why can't I get used to it? I guess I'll never know. All I'm aware of is everyday is such a burden to bear, everyday is like a struggle to get by, everyday is the worst day ever. I often tell people that it's just right to hold on and hope that one day, the tables will turn and life will be better - this is one thing I'd love to believe. I hope that's true. I'm wishing that one day, things will get better and the pain and sadness will be a little more tolerable. You don't get over pain, you just get used to it, and as days pass by, I wonder when will the pain stop to hurt. I guess I'll never know. Sun, Oct 7, 2012 10:28:55 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

For the longest time, I think I've mastered the art of getting by. Living each day functioning well as how you should be is the way to survive life. Laugh as loud as you can, do silly things that will keep your adrenaline pumping and don't ever look back on things you've already left behind. I feel my life is all about sadness and pain, and that's how it really is but I don't mind. I can live each day doing what I do best - getting by, but sometimes, I just have to give in to sadness, I have to take off the gameface and stare at reality straight in its eyes. I miss her, more proper term would be, I long for her. I want to wake up one morning seeing her by my side. I want to feel her embrace in the middle of cold night. I want to be the reason behind her smile and her to be the reason behind my happiness. I want to live my life feeling her presence each and every day. I want to be with her but fate has been sealed - it will never happen. Truth makes me sad and ju

I let a pretty girl step in the elevator first. She said thank you then there were 30 floors of silence but I was surprised when she looked back and smiled at me before she stepped out. I guess chivalry is still being rewarded these days, LOL. Tue, Sep 25, 2012 8:02:33 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

So I deactivated my Facebook account just about an hour ago then someone asked me why. I replied, "I'm sick of what I'm seeing there, I may be just too old for that shit." I guess that pretty much is true. I guess I've outgrown the fuss of social networking and grew tired of all the drama and non-sense that I'm seeing, I've got too much drama on my own. I should start deleting some of the Facebook related apps eventually. I'm just too old for those shit. Sun, Sep 23, 2012 7:36:45 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I guess I miss you so bad, So bad it already hurts. But there's nothing I can do, Nowhere else to divert. And so I scribble some lines, Not knowing where it'll end. Going round and round in my head, With most twist and bend. Just like these thoughts of missing you, I find these words insane, Because no matter what I say, It won't take away the pain. I will still miss you day after day, It's a cycle to bear. What makes it worse, Is knowing you don't care. Mon, Sep 17, 2012 10:09:28 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

It's 5am and last night was another terrible night for me. It was a horrible day afterall so what can I expect other than that anyway. I decided to retire to bed early and when I woke up I took comfort in listening to loud music of Sevendust and Biohazard when all of a sudden I heard a knock on my door. I ignored it because I know it's my mother. I thought she'll think that I fell asleep with this music I'm listening to in full volume but the knocks on the door told me otherwise. It's irritating but I had to get up and there she was making my day much worse than how it already is. I love my family, they know the perfect timing to barge in and make things worse. I have the most fantastic family ever! Thank you Lord, you're really some motherfucking awesome god! Mon, Sep 17, 2012 5:32:47 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

It has been said that life is in fact a matter of choice - you choose what you do, you choose how you react, you choose how to proceed, etc. For all the things that happened, we're always left with a question "what now?" which isn't much of a rhetorical question if you'll ask me. So what now? So many things have been said and done. I'm tired of whining. I'm tired of feeling sentimental and acting like a retard. I'm sick of all these crap I've put myself into. I'm asking myself, what happens now? Life only gives us two options: either you carry on or you go fuck yourself and die. Please pardon my swearing, I just can't find a fucking way to put a fucking emphasis on that fucked up option. Going back, I guess the answer is obvious, all of us must carry on with our lives and stop being pussies. There's nothing much better to do anyway. Carry on with life regardless if you feed on sadness and misery each day. Continue living

http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/no-one-murdered-because-of-this-image,29553/?mobile=true Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

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Maybe I miss your cheerfulness, Perhaps I miss the way you smile, So I take a quick escape from reality, And stay in your memories for a while. In there I can be with you, Oh those are the finest days. Just by being yourself, You changed me in many ways. A brighter point of view, As if I'm seeing life for the first time. I almost believe I'm yours, The same way you're mine. I had things planned in my mind, In due time I know they'll get real. Damn what the odds may say, All I need is this love that I feel. But of course I was wrong, So stupid I almost laugh at myself. How can I believe in those things, Now this can't be helped. Reality won't be on my side, I guess life is one playful kid. So I take a quick escape, Maybe this is all I need Sun, Sep 9, 2012 6:26:14 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Don't lose your composure Better keep your cool Watch out for your own words Or you'll be blabbering like a fool Swallow your sadness Keep your gameface on Just keep it to yourself Good days are gone Get by each day Tomorrow is another round Make sure you'll last long Stand steady on your ground It's fine if you're not ok It's ok not to feel so great Don't ask for too much Don't regret if it's too late Just keep your composure Maybe one day the tables will turn There's too much left to discover There's just too much to learn Sun, Sep 9, 2012 8:33:20 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I think it's the way smile Or maybe the joy in your laugh Perhaps it's the glimmer in your eyes When you stare, I can't get enough I think it's the shape of your lips Or maybe the sweetness of your kiss Perhaps it's the way you make me feel Each time you overdose me with bliss But whatever it is I just can't help it I fall for you over and over I just can't stop it I think it's the way love goes Out of line and twisted Too bad I can't be with you Had the chance but missed it Sat 8 Sep 2012 7:11:53 AM Sent from my BlackBerry? wireless handheld

After all of those things that were said and done, after the long process of logical thinking, in the end of each day, I still think of her. I can only guess how much, but I miss her. My bad. Mon 3 Sep 2012 3:00:43 PM Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

I hope everyday is my birthday. I found this photo from my gallery. Simple pleasure. I want some more. Sun 2 Sep 2012 2:46:16 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

To see things clearer, you sometimes have to move and try to look at it in a different perspective. To simplify things, you should take away all the complex ideas and stick to the basics. Finally, to fully amuse yourself in a comedy, you should know where the joke is. I watched the two of them in a different perspective to see the better view. At first their situation feels so romantic and ideal but tragic at the same time. There's the woman who has been with her man for the longest time but one day another man came along breaking the monotony and then they fell for each other... in a wrong time and situation. Their love for each other is at the purest state of emotion i.e. being amoral - neither wrong nor right. The woman tried her best to keep their company without crossing the line. The man tried to do the same making himself believe that his idealism and romanticism will bring a newer light to things. However, no matter how pure and innocent their affection for each other is,

Time pass by so slow I hope it will just fly by Because my days are all about missing you Since the day you said goodbye Got stuck in your memories I hope there's something else to do But I spend all my hours Just wishing to be next to you I guess this is a hopeless case I'll just have to accept this You've gone and won't be back Love is crazy, forget this Sat 1 Sep 2012 9:18:26 AM Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Staring at the clock Wondering when will this end Lost in this silence Remembering the words you said You said we can't be together You told me this has to stop My heart begins to break My brain starts to pop Why am I still loving you When I know this won't go anywhere Why am I still longing for you When it's taking any smile I can wear And I stare at the clock Time waits for no one Yet my world got stuck Since the day you've gone Fri 31 Aug 2012 9:46:22 AM Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

Emotions come from knowledge. You won't feel anything that you don't have any awareness of. As the old saying goes, what you don't know won't hurt you. Sometimes, it will all boil down to the point when you'll choose indifference as the quickest fix and ignorance as a sturdy wall. It's crazy borderline to being pathetic but that would be the lesser evil. I decided not to read Facebook feeds at all, but it seems that the unwanted posts are still able to find its way to my awareness. I've read another post just couple of minutes ago that made so envious, one of the most unhealthy feeling a man can feel. It somehow found it's way through cross-posting feature of Facebook, so I'm also moving my BBM out from my homescreen. A quick fix because it's been a proven principle. What you don't know won't hurt you. Tue 28 Aug 2012 8:36:47 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Going through my file case, I saw this note she wrote for me simply saying "yes". I remember the good auld days. Good stuff. This was her response to one of the invitation I sent her. I can recall the smile on her face when as she read the invitation I wrote in poetry, I made it appear like scroll laced with a golden metallic string written using a calligrapher's pen. Oh sweet memory. Sun 26 Aug 2012 16:48:06 Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

When things aren't really going your way, when situations become really tough for you to go through, when pain seems to be too much bear, when being well isn't on the plate, then the next best thing to do is to sleep. Sleeping is awesome, you forget everything for a little while; no longing for someone, no feeling alone, no pain, no worries, just a sweet escape from the world. Sat, Aug 25, 2012 10:25:59 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

The road to you remained untravelled It's just far from my reach Between fantasy and reality Can't tell which is which Like an open wound Skin can't be stitched Life being sucked away Like blood to a leech Follow the natural order Go and hike a hitch This is gonna be a bumpy ride Life is a bitch Fri, Aug 24, 2012 8:43:32 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Missing you is my new habit One I can't seem to break Attached with unexplained sadness Which is too much to take Missing you is my new habit Just too unfortunate Stuck in your memories I can't wipe this slate It's just too bad It's just so wrong What the hell now I'm not that strong Thu, Aug 23, 2012 6:46:15 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

If I cry a river Will it take me to your shore For I can't stand to be away Each day I've been wanting you more This is a place of melancholy I want to be by your side But I can't take the wheels I know this has been a crazy ride What would it take me sweetie To be right there beside you Will the tables ever turn And hear you say you want this too Do I need to cry a river To get to your shore I can start weeping now I can't stand to be away anymore Mon, Aug 20, 2012 4:52:35 PM _______ Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

The days are too long It never seem to end Feels like being stuck in a cycle Broken and won't mend Where are you now How have you been I wanted to be near you If you know what I mean I want to see you smile once more And make my heart jump again I want to feel the warmth of your touch and put this longing to an end All I want is to be near you But maybe that's too much to ask Because all of these things Have now been called as past Sun, Aug 19, 2012 6:09:28 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

I remember the scent of your hair The warmth of your touch The weight of your head on my shoulder Oh I'm missing it so much I remember the sound of your voice The kindness in your smile I take my mind back in time And stay there for a little while Because I can only miss you now There's nothing more I can do You've gone somewhere far And I guess everything's through I remember the love I know How can this be so wrong I can only miss you now I'm just not that strong Sat, Aug 18, 2012 8:43:53 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

It's very rare to find someone who will be there for you through your lowest of days. People, no matter how caring they seem to be, always have the tendency to look after themselves only. Maybe that's not true, maybe it's just my disbelief in the goodness of humanity that made me think that way. Yesterday, I received very kind words from my good friend. She said, "Go get some sleep, when you wake up tomorrow, I will still be here for you." Faith in humanity has been restored. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:03:58 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Most of the time, good intentions aren't really enough. In this life that's full of confusion, many minds have been mislead, misguided and got lost in twisted road of vagueness. One's level of idealism is critical on how that certain person affects other people. Most individual do things with good intentions but tend to get opposite results. The more they attempt to fix things, the more broken it becomes. Nobody can play god in people's misery. Nobody can play hero in a world full of pain. Nobody. Wed, Aug 15, 2012 10:13:42 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Deafened by silence Gone numb of the pain Drowning in longing Crying out a single name Absence of sanity Indeed a crazy world Got a lot to say But can't find the right words Want to say, "I miss you" Oh what right do you have now None my poor lad Just get by somehow Get used to melancholy In indifference there is bliss Thoughts may wonder most times Unreal but comforting at least Tue, Aug 14, 2012 5:40:51 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

It was another gloomy afternoon and the dark clouds and heavy rain add up to the melancholy. He sat down thinking about the days when they chose to forget everyone around and just be happy being together. "The good auld days," he sighed. The rain began to flood the roads the same way his mind is being flooded by the thoughts of the woman he adores the most - a dangerous sight. He retreated to his memories for the present days aren't giving him any comfort that he need, but reality always follow him wherever he go. There's no running away from the truth. There's no walking away from reality. She was never his girl. He cannot lose what he never had. As her absence wash away all the remaining strand of joy he has, he then again retreated to his own little world where indifference is the only means of survival. The rain began to flood the roads, the same way him mind is being flooded by the woman he loves the most. Mon, Aug 13, 2012 4:17:23 PM Sent from my B

Sadness enveloped the night This has been a city of melancholy Curled in bed, fist clenched tight Gone sceptic of what's holy Trapped in these four walls Not knowing which is the way out Trembling in terror as the night falls Composure is what's totally without In this prison of loneliness Time must be served For all the wrong judgment You'll get what you deserve Sun, Aug 5, 2012 10:33:39 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

I hate being idle My thoughts should always be occupied Because if not I'll think of you again And there will be longing deep inside I must chase your thoughts away Or at least try to block it out Because I know I can't be with you I can say it without a doubt I ran away from your memories I hide from my dreams of you That's the lesser of all the evils That's the most I can do But when emptiness strikes me I'm back sitting on square one Trying to put things back together Going back to where I started from And so I hate being idle Evil is in idle mind I must stare away from your thoughts If I can completely leave it behind Mon, Aug 6, 2012 3:42:01 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

I saw a random teenage kid who walked towards a man begging for some change. Instead of giving some money that he might not have, he guided the old guy towards the waiting shed and said, "It's raining, you might get sick if you stay there." Faith in humanity has been restored. Mon, Aug 6, 2012 8:52:34 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

I find myself staring blankly at the ceiling Here I am thinking of you again Wondering about this love that I'm feeling And when will the longing end Juggling one thought after another Evil is an idle mind For it can only think of us being together And it's a bliss I can never find If I can shut down my brain for a moment That's something I'll certainly do Because sometimes I can no longer stand the torment Of being too far away from you But here I am now Thinking of you again Here I am now Wishing for this longing to end Mon, Aug 6, 2012 6:28:03 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Counting down the hours Not knowing when will this end This moment could've been ours But you only see me as your friend There will be nothing more There will be nothing less And though you're the one I most adore This love will just end up as a mess I'll never see bliss There will always be pain You're the one I'll always miss As I cry out your name So I count down the hours Hoping this will soon end This moment could've been ours We could've been more than friends Sun, Aug 5, 2012 4:24:09 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Sadness enveloped the night This has been a city of melancholy Curled in bed, fist clenched tight Gone sceptic of what's holy Trapped in these four walls Not knowing which is the way out Trembling in terror as the night falls Composure is what's totally without In this prison of loneliness Time must be served For all the wrong judgment You'll get what you deserve Sun, Aug 5, 2012 10:33:39 AM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

In this hell hole I lie In this hell hole, I stare at The Devil in the eye Don't struggle Don't even try You sealed your fate, motherfucker Now do yourself a favour and die In this hell hole there's no escape You can run But you will never be safe despair now It's all too late Your insignificant existence is nothing You got yourself an ill fate Tue, Jul 31, 2012 4:34:38 PM Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld

Her body's too weak But too afraid to slumber Have been restless for long Time is but a number Haunted by her own thoughts Screaming out too loud But nobody's listening Sanity's what she'll be without And when the night falls Nightmares will come to play Can never tell what real or not A struggle day after day She can't be saved There won't be any shelter Hope has gone long ago Nothing but terror to haunt her Mon, Jul 30, 2012 1:47:39 PM Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

I woke from a dream Another dream about you Where I'm holding you close Oh it felt so true I guess you're all I can think of Each and every single day You're the one I long to be with Although there seemed to be no way For you're out of my league and I can't be good enough Dreams are the sweetest But reality is just as tough And so I wonder If I'll ever hold you close And finally live these dreams Of being with the one I love most Sun, Jul 29, 2012 4:15:05 AM #poetry #love #romance #wishfulthinking #sadness #longing Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

I woke from a dream Another dream about you Where I'm holding you close Oh it felt so true I guess you're all I can think of Each and every single day You're the one I long to be with Although there seemed to be no way For you're out of my league and I can't be good enough Dreams are the sweetest But reality is just as tough And so I wonder If I'll ever hold you close And finally live these dreams Of being with the one I love most Sun, Jul 29, 2012 4:15:05 AM #poetry #love #romance #wishfulthinking #sadness #longing Sent from my BlackBerry� wireless handheld

I don't have to write it down. The memories of this day will stay in my mind forever. #life #birthday #memories #simplepleasures Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Every single time, there you are. You don't seem to have any intention to part from me. You're becoming unbearable now. I hate you, why can't you go away? Sun, Jul 22, 2012 6:48:13 PM #life #pain #longing Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Hello sadness It seems we meet again I tried to brush you off But I'm now at my wit's end Hello sadness it seems you're here to stay We'll play the game of tag Maybe every other day But what are you really You're still a puzzle to me I can't fathom your essence And the reason you came to be Perhaps you're just a nuisance Just another random evil in life But you sure cut into most sanity Better than the sharpest knife Sun, Jul 22, 2012 4:33:25 PM #literature #poetry #life #sadness Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

After great pain a formal feeling comes--The nerves sit ceremonious like tombs; The stiff Heart questions--was it He that bore? And yesterday--or centuries before? The feet, mechanical, go round A wooden way Of ground, or air, or ought, Regardless grown, A quartz contentment, like a stone. This is the hour of lead Remembered if outlived, As freezing persons recollect the snow--First chill, then stupor, then the letting go. #poetry #love #romance Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I feel like holding you I just want to feel your embrace I want to feel your breathing Maybe notice its fast pace I want to hold you close Maybe for a moment or two Feel your body next to mine And hear you say you want it too I guess it would be nice To have you here with me Lie down right next to you Filled with joy and security But this wishful thinking Is nothing but a fantasy Along with this love that I know That'll never make it to reality Fri, Jul 20, 2012 5:49:24 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

#life #people #morons Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will be a point in your life that you'll realize to wake up from a dream - a dream where you've been hiding for a long time. You'll feel that it's just the right thing to do for it's foolishness to stay hopeful. You decide to snap out it, then it hits you - REALITY ISN'T ANY BETTER. Tue, Jul 17, 2012 8:08:31 AM #life #dreams #reality #pain #sadness Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

When there's nothing more to hang on to and when everything is really messed up, one may tell himself, "someday the hurting will stop" Too much optimism is dangerous for it blinds you from reality. Yes, maybe someday the pain will vanish just like that, but I feel that the much awaited "someday" may be a little too late. Thu, Jul 12, 2012 1:01:57 PM #life #pain #reality Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Dear Heart, Please stick to your job description i.e. pumping blood. Thanks, Hypothalamus #humor #emotions #logic Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I was checking my Facebook news feed (on my phone, yeah I know I should've just slept) when I saw her new profile picture. It looks nice objectively speaking. I don't know what has come to me but I decided to see the whole image and coming across the other pictures in the folder, I can simply say that they look so happy together. I then told myself, this is one lucky guy. I felt jealousy. I'm envious. All I wanted is to be with her but then again that won't be possible. For almost half of her life, she has been with that man and that should count for something. I don't know what am I thinking back then when I let my self fall in-love with someone like her. I guess that's what happens when emotions overrule logical thoughts. I made a mistake of entertaining my feelings for her but it's too late now. Pain and sadness has become inevitable. I guess the only consolation I have now is they look happy together. Mon, Jul 9, 2012 4:33:52 PM #Love #Romance

I find it funny when people say that happiness is a choice. Sure we can all be stupid...sorry, I mean optimistic like that at all times. We can all believe in the goodness of life and all the people around it. We can choose to believe that whatever it is that we're going through, in the end of the day, there's still a happy ending waiting for all of us. Sure, we can all do that, but don't tell that to those who are suffering beyond their threshold. Don't tell those who gets lulled to sleep by the sound of their hearts as it break into pieces. Don't tell that to those people whose suffering and sadness is beyond what we can fathom for one's suffering will always be far from others comprehension. Sometimes, for some people, happiness is never a choice. They can't just choose to be happy for their miseries are way too deep. They can't just choose to change things because their own hell hole is far deeper than what we can imagine. Sometimes, it just can'

Well the days will pass The tables will all turn Memories will all fade Bridges will be burned Feelings may all die We may even stop to care About the things around us And some of the burdens we bear Things will all change Maybe for the better or for worse But some things have an exemption Those things close to a curse Like this love that I feel I guess I'm still not over you I look like biggest fool For you'll never say you love me too I guess I'm still not over you I guess this is something bad For I can't say I miss you Because your someone I never had #love #romance #loss #sadness #poetry Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will be a point wherein sadness will really be inevitable and pain will be a feeling you have to get used to. Times like this call for extra measure of composure. Wear your game face every freaking. Laugh as if your heart is still intact when it's really broken into pieces. Do your job right even if you already lost interest in money and life in general. Live and get by each day even if kicking the bucket is the only sweetest thing that can happen to you. Deal with your sadness like a boss. Thu, Jul 5, 2012 2:27:10 PM #Life, #Sadness Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There are things in life that we really get used to. Regardless if it's something too good that we already take for granted or something that's too bad that we just managed to live with, there will really be that something that will just be part of your daily existence. I'm not sure if the word routine will be the best word to describe it because I'm really not good in labeling or defining stuff like this. However, for the sake of discussion, let's just agree to call it as such. These said routines will just be a part of us. It's just sad to know that mine is the routine of feeling the pain. I find it odd that this feeling of pain just really won't part from me. If has grown to the point that I've gone used to it, as a matter of fact, it has always been in here I sometimes neglect to notice that I'm hurting, but there will always be pain. When I fell in love with her, little by little, there's a hole in my heart that starts to grow along with thi

If you love someone, you'd always want to share all the good things with that person. Now, all I want to do is lie down and feel how the world slowly turns. It's going to be pretty awesome if I can have her beside me while listening to either some piano or violin instrumentals. I think that can't be any better. However, that's impossible to happen, and so I'm stuck here listening to Pantera, Sepultura, Metallica and other metal bands hoping to be put on trance and forget how her absence is taking its toll on me. Tue, Jul 3, 2012 12:36:40 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I sometimes find it hard to believe That you aren't really for me Because why do I keep on going back Going back to your sweet memory I sometimes find it hard to see That we aren't really meant to be When I just can't see myself in the future Without you here beside me But I guess I know what this is Sweetie, this is what they call reality No matter how deep the love is You're really just too good for me Mon, Jul 2, 2012 1:21:31 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Look away from the darkness I duck away from the light I walk away from the sadness I can't say if it's right Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Test Line break Test Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I guess, based on all that had happen, romance isn't really just for me. Perhaps I'm really that one person who's to spend his days growing old alone and lonely. Fate has long spoken, I just refused to listen. I feel so sad right now. I fell like going crazy at this very moment. I woke up with this tight feeling inside my chest that I can't seem to shake off. It's hard to get by each day and it gets harder as the days pass. I want this to end. I don't want to drag this any longer, but I guess I'm really that of a bad person so I still have to carry this burden a little longer. Here comes the pain, worse than yesterday. Mon, Jun 25, 2012 5:14:17 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sometimes, when everything is all messed up, you ask yourself what just went wrong. I've been asking that question to myself for quite a while now but still I can't figure it out. Maybe my situation with her hasn't been right all along. Perhaps it has been a mistake since the beginning and asking what went wrong won't be appropriate. Yet, I still miss her. I still miss all the good times I had with the woman I love the most. In each broken days I still think of her smile, her voice, the warmth of her affection. I miss her, so bad. Sun, Jun 24, 2012 6:41:13 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will really be a point in your life when words won't be enough to explain how you really feel. All you will ever know is that you feel bad about everything. When your mind becomes the melting pot of all negative emotions namely sadness, pain, jealousy, frustration, anger - there won't really be a way to just turn the blind eye on it. It's that point when you'd just want to lie down and let everything pass since there's nothing more you can do. You embrace your own misery until it hurts so much it becomes a part of you. It eats you alive. It becomes who you are - just a walking miserable freak. Sat, Jun 23, 2012 8:12:52 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will always be a void One that can't be filled Stay put young man The fate has been sealed You can't bend reality You'll end up twisting your mind Stay away from wishful thinking Leave your fantasies behind There's nothing more you can do She's gone and won't be back Snap out of it quickly Got to get back on track Tue, Jun 19, 2012 9:57:01 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Listening to piano instrumental while sitting beside the woman I love the most Tue, Feb 14, 2012 7:58:58 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I woke up in the middle of the night and felt a sudden rush of sadness - those are the times I feel most alone. You see, bad things happen and things get too sad, I guess that's just how life is going to be, until when? Don't ask me, I don't know. You get by each day no matter what - that's the trick. It's ok if you're not "ok". It's fine if you're not "fine". It all boils down into one thing - you have live another day, and that's how most of us play it. Life sucks, life is unfair, life is full of sadness and pain, the hell we care. Life is evil and we have to live with it. That's how some of us see things but others see it otherwise. We are all in our own reality. This is my reality. This is life and it's not a pretty good picture. I don't hope for things to change because I've given up on that part, ie hoping. However, I still have this wishful thinking about things changing their course. I don't kno

I'm so sleepy But I refused to slumber My mind want to drift away But I don't want it to wander I'd love to dream of you And hold you close Lock you in my arms And get some bliss overdose But dreaming will get me nowhere This is the reality I must face That you'll never be with me And this love will just go to waste I still dream of you anyway Yes, I still do I dream of you awake It's crazy but true Tue, May 29, 2012 13:20:57 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I know this is crazy What more can I say? You're the one I'd love to see Each and every day I can't get you off my mind What's this spell I'm under Can't just leave things behind Your thoughts are all I ponder But you're out of my league That's sad but so true It may be a mystery I can't dig But still I'm all about loving you Sun, May 27, 2012 19:36:27 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Do I cross your mind sometimes? I wonder if you ever think of me. I listen to the heartbeat in silence I ponder if yours beats for me. Do I cross your mind sometimes? I hope somehow I do For it's you I think of always And someone I'm missing too And so I hope I cross your mind Maybe that's one way to reach your heart Because the route is so hard to find And that's just the sad part Mon, May 21, 2012 14:23:01 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I love the weight of your head Each time you fall asleep on my shoulder I love the warmth of your skin Makes me feel we're really together I love how you smile at me Each time you catch me staring at you I'd love to say I love you Wondering if you feel the same way too But I know the odds are so low Might as well stop this now No matter how strong the feelings are It's just not enough, somehow I just love you It doesn't make any difference at all Because reality behind the sweetness Is you who won't ever fall Sun, May 20, 2012 18:37:10 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I wish we met each other In another place, another time Where I can say that I'm yours And you'll always be mine I wish we met each other When things aren't so out of line Things will be out in the open And no more reading the signs But in that other time Will the tables get turned? In that other time Won't the dreams get burned? Mon, May 14, 2012 17:32:42 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There are some things we can't explain Or at least we want to believe that we can't For the truth is too much to bear And something that can't be bent But it has always been there It has been out in the open all along We just refuse to see it clearly Wanting to believe that nothing's wrong We make a fool out of ourselves Well, ignorance is a bliss Turning the blind eye The hell with inner peace Thu, Apr 19, 2012 1:35:59 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There are some things we can't explain Or atleast we want to believe that we can't For the truth is too much to bear And something that can't be bent But it has always been there It has been out in the open all along We just refuse to see it clearly Wanting to believe that nothing's wrong We make a fool out of ourselves Well, ignorance is a bliss Turning the blind eye The hell with inner peace Thu, Apr 19, 2012 1:35:59 AM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There are some things we can't explain Or atleast we want to believe that we can't For the truth is too much to bear And something that can't be bent But it has always been there It has been out in the open all along We just refuse to see it clearly Wanting to believe that nothing's wrong We make a fool out of ourselves Well, ignorance is a bliss Turning the blind eye The hell with inner peace Thu, Apr 19, 2012 1:35:59 AM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I want to take you to the beach And just lie down on the shore Talk about the days that lie ahead And fall in-love with you more I want to hold you in my arms Make you realize how I want you close Feel your warmth soothing my core While I drown with bliss overdose I want to be there for you Live the days altogether I spend all my life daydreaming So many things to ponder When all I want is to love you Love you more each day But I just can't be good enough That's just how it goes anyway Wed, Apr 18, 2012 6:09:38 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

When I say "goodnight", what I really meant was "You're the last person I have on my mind. As I lie down here alone in my bed, how I wish you're here beside me. Solitude is uncomfortable at times. I miss you. The worst way of missing someone is having the most rational thoughts indicating that you'll never be together. Hence, I say goodnight. Mon, Apr 16, 2012 10:20:41 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I saw this photo from 9gag.com and it sure brought back the memories of my high school days. When was the last time you wrote one of these? I guess you can barely remember. Yes, modern technology is very helpful especially when it comes to communication. However, most of the time, I'm wishing that from time to time, we find that inner drive to do things the old skool way. Just saying. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There was a time that we've been so fond of pick up lines. When I get back to the office, I'll deliver one of these, LOL Dapat Candice name mo, kasi pag nakikita kita naiisip ko "Candice be love?" You made it hard for me to recite the alphabet...because I'm always missing "U" Test paper ka ba? Tinitigan lang kasi kita, bumagsak na ako. Sana may umupo sa gitna natin pag magkatabi tayo...para meron nang "namamagitan satin" Magkapangalan ba tayo? Tuwing naririnig ko kasi pangalan mo, napapalingon ako eh! Mon, Apr 16, 2012 4:10:04 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sometimes I wonder why do we still have to commit the very same mistakes that others have already committed just for us to learn? I know there's a saying that you must learn from your mistakes, but isn't it more efficient if we'll also learn from the flaws of other people? I don't know, maybe it's just really human nature. Sat, Apr 14, 2012 5:44:19 AM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I remember when I was in college, I wrote something that says, "True masters know when to concede." It has been several years yet I seemed not to know how to live the virtue of those words. All of us have faced a losing battle atleast once in our lives, and one of the smartest thing to know during those times is the strength to admit that you have to stop. One must admit to himself that everything is over for him to have a new start. While these words are simple, still most of us can't seem to comprehend. It's a shame to confess this but I'm one of them. How come the knowledge of knowing when to stop appears to be so elusive? I don't know, all I know is I'm pretty cracked up right now. Fri, Apr 13, 2012 4:54:58 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will always be a moment when you will, as the saying goes, fall off the wagon. People tend to deviate from whatever it is that they are suppose to do. Most of us can't seem to really know what's the right thing to do, and sometimes, even if we do know what's right, we still can't bring ourselves to do it. I know there are lots of things I shouldn't be doing now, emotions that I shouldn't be entertaining and thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. However, no matter how hard I try, I always end up doing the things that I shouldn't be doing at all. I always fall off my own wagon. Sun, Apr 8, 2012 3:19:44 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sometimes I wonder If there can be something more Or is it really meant for you To just step in and out of that door Sometimes it makes me think How nice this could've been We were in-love but can't admit it Afraid of what the actions may mean But if there can be something more Let's not be afraid of yesterday's ghost Because nothing has really changed You're still the woman I love most Mon, Apr 2, 2012 12:12:22 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

You're the sweetest of the sweets One that I'll never ever trade Fate has now spoken You're the love that won't fade I can try to walk away But I'll keep on coming back It's going to be the cycle For it's the strength that I lack For you're the sweetest of the sweets One that I'll never trade I don't know how it happened But I'm sure it's a love that won't fade Fri, Mar 30, 2012 5:08:35 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

You're the sweetest of the sweets One that I'll never ever trade Fate has now spoken You're the love that won't fade I can try to walk away But I'll keep on coming back It's going to be the cycle For it's the strength that I lack For you're the sweetest of the sweets One that I'll never trade I don't know how it happened But I'm sure it's a love that won't fade Fri, Mar 30, 2012 5:08:35 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sometimes, sadness and pain can tear you down big time. It'll tear you down bit by bit until you can no longer recognize your own being. Oh how merciless fate can be sometimes. I don't know, but it's merciless enough for someone to think, and later on believe, that things happen in random and fate doesn't exists. What do you do when things have fallen apart that you can no longer figure out what to pick up first? What do you do when all you've hope for is the very same thing that you can never have? What do you do when all you want is for the hurting to stop? Tue, Mar 27, 2012 5:40:51 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I feel terrible. I mean how can someone feel so much pain and still get by each day? I don't know. Maybe because of a peculiar survival instinct? I guess so. Each day I struggle to survive and I guess that's how it's going to be day after day until that one sweet moment when everything will finally come to an end. Until that moment, this terrible feeling of being alone and unloved will still linger. I fell in-love with someone I can't be with. I fell in-love with a woman who's out of my league and will never love me back the same way I'm loving her. That's just how it is - love, rejection and grief. Terrible. This is just too terrible. Thu, Mar 22, 2012 1:58:14 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Change is not easy, if somebody says it's otherwise then somebody got it wrong. However, change is all for the good. It may be hard to see the goodness in every transition, still in the end of each day, it'll all depend on one's perspective. We all have to move on whenever change starts knocking on your door. We can stay in the same spot if that's our will and nobody can do anything to that, but as the day unfolds, you'll just find yourself left behind. Time won't stop for anyone. It's non-negotiable. Sat, Mar 17, 2012 5:18:58 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Test line 1 Test line 2

Fri, Mar 16, 2012, 3:59 AM - yes, there she was again, the friend of mine who have left the company for couple of months now and someone that I've missed since then. Xu is one of those friends I have that no matter how rarely we talk in the office, when our conversation started, it'll never be a waste of time. We met for a quick breakfast (working on a night shift has its perks most of the time) and had one of those let-me-catch-up stories. It was all good especially with kwek-kwek, siomai and melon fruit shake served on the table (I know, not your typical breakfast). I listen to her stories as she listen to mine. It feels like the old days again when we'll take time to sit down and just talk. Xu made a lot of sense to me maybe that's why I never got tired of having these talks. She's someone I'll always keep on my real friend list. This post may be a bummer for the sole reason that no details were disclosed, but just let it be. Fri, Mar 16, 2012 2

Some people are meant to be in our lives for decades and others are meant to only stay for a while. This is one of the most challenging realities of life. Not everyone is willing to be with you as you proceed on your journey. Some people may only like you when you have a certain title or look a certain way. That is okay. Let them be who they are but keep on being true to yourself. If you lose some people as you proceed on with your life, wish them well and let them go with love. -Nadia Ballas-Ruta _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will always be pain There will always be sadness As long as there is this love There will always be madness But I just can't walk away I'm stuck in my own hell There will always be sorrow And I'll never feel well So there will always be sadness Same way that there will be pain There will always be this longing I will always be calling out your name Wed, Mar 14, 2012 11:10:52 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Listening to piano instrumental while sitting beside the woman I love the most 7:58:58 PM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will be a point in your life that pain becomes inevitable. There will be days that all you can ever feel is that sensation of uneasiness. How can someone feel so bad when all that person did is love someone so much? I guess that's how things really go, and so there is pain and sadness all the time. When the going gets tough, the tough stays tough - I heard this from one ghetto song that made much sense to me these past few days. I'm one tough s-o-b not because I'm born and raised this way, but just because I have to. I get by each day with my gameface on doing what I do, doing what I need to do, yet in the end of each day as I lie alone in my empty room, I feel the need of breaking down and letting it all go. Crazy shit indeed. Pay pain no attention. Give no damn to sadness. Be oblivious of the misery. Always aim to live one more day. Each step we take brings us closer to our final destination and nobody can stop us from moving forward on to that place. Even

She will always be The most beautiful woman for me In my mind's eyes I stare at her constantly For all I ever wanted Is just to stay so close So close for me to feel her While she give me bliss overdose And there's nothing more I'll ask There's nothing more that can compare For this love deep inside me This love I'll forever bear She will always be The most beautiful woman for me She will always be The one I'll love constantly Sun, Feb 19, 2012 10:55:36 AM _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel so sad and can sense my heart is breaking into tiny pieces day after day. I don't think I'll ever mend but I have to get by each day since that's the wisest thing to do. I have to put up my gameface each time I go out and face the world outside while deep inside of me I feel I'm rotting into pieces. In light of all the misery, sadness and heartbreak, I also feel that there's a peculiar survival instinct that runs through my veins. I don't know where it's coming from by I guess it's what I hang on to each day. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Daily Horoscope 17 2012 When you want something very badly, there is sometimes a fear that goes along with the longing. Right now you may be thinking about a much-cherished goal, and you are probably tired of waiting for it to manifest in your life. But the reason you haven't yet achieved your dream may have more to do with your fearfulness than with any external reasons. You may fear that you aren't worthy, or that you will screw up in your pursuit of your goal, or that no matter what you do you won't achieve it anyway. But when you grab for something with fear in your heart, you chase it further away. Have confidence. You can have what you're hoping for. Copyright (c) Daily Horoscope. Download it now -- http://bit.ly/DHmobile _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Shut down your emotions. Don't feel anything. Become numb. Don't feel any affection. Don't feel any excitement. Don't fell any pleasure. All feelings must go - love, joy, pain, sadness. Shut it down. Shut it all down deep inside but pretend you're doing just fine. Lie to your friends, lie to your colleagues, lie your family, lie to yourself until you're lost in your own lies and be convinced that you're indeed doing just fine. That's your quick fix. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I woke up this morning and read some messages I missed while I'm in deep sleep. I then asked myself, what on earth had happen to my life? I ponder on how things have been, how things are doing now and how will things be. After that, I came up with one assessment - there will always be pain and sadness. Looking at the situation, I can tell that the remedy for this misery that I feel is far from being attainable. The odds of having the tables turn is indeed very low. There's just no way that this sadness will be washed away any time soon. Hence, I'll have to live with the fact that there won't be any way to ease this hellish feeling that I have deep inside of me. I'll just have to learn how to put up my gameface and manage to get by each day. Yes, there will always be sadness and pain. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I woke up this morning and read some messages I missed while I'm in deep sleep. I then asked myself, what on earth had happen to my life? I ponder on how things have been, how things are doing now and how will things be. After that, I came up with one assessment - there will always be pain and sadness. Looking at the situation, I can tell that the remedy for this misery that I feel is far from being attainable. The odds of having the tables turn is indeed very low. There's just no way that this sadness will be washed away any time soon. Hence, I'll have to live with the fact that there won't be any way to ease this hellish feeling that I have deep inside of me. I'll just have to learn how to put up my gameface and manage to get by each day. Yes, there will always be sadness and pain. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

If you are feeling lonely, go out and mingle with other beings - human or canine or whatever lonesome soul will welcome you. If you're feeling bored, go out and stir up some excitement. If you're angry, take a long walk and enjoy the beauty of the scenery that surrounds you. You see, Leo, you have the power to change your world in any way that you want to. You are not reliant on fate to place things in your life that will make you happy or fulfilled. Recognize this power, and you will make the first step toward mastering your fate. -- Copyright (c) Daily Horoscope. Download it now -- http://bit.ly/DHmobile _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Someone is trying to tell you that you should simply accept a certain situation that you cannot change. This person is probably trying to make you feel better, but you aren't one to give up so easily. Your loved one's advice is good, although it's a bit misguided. While it may be true that you can't make the change you would like to make, you can seek out alternatives that will make you just as happy. It would be wise to accept that you can't alter one aspect of your current reality, but don't give up on getting what you want in a different way. -- Copyright (c) DailyHoroscope. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

It's wonderful to be in love, or even to be in sync with someone on a platonic level. Kindred spirits are hard to come by, so when you find one you need to treasure that person and nurture the relationship. You may be involved in just such a union right now. Just be careful that you don't lose yourself amid your devotion to this other person. Take time to express your own thoughts and feelings, and to nurture yourself too. That way you will also have more to give, and you'll find it easier to accept love in return. -- Copyright (c) DailyHoroscope. Download it now -- http://bit.ly/DHmobile _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Symbolically, the Cypress Tree stands for the role of sacrifice in life. Even though the characteristics that accompany this theme include mourning, death, and despair, this sign can also be symbolic of hope. Like the Cypress Tree that represents them, Cypress people are usually slender and strong, with a fine, unmistakable silhouette. Although their stature can be almost ordinary, there is something about them that is both stern and wild... like some wild creature from the wilderness that is untouched by civilization. At the same time, however, this sign can be very refined. Known for being very adaptable, Cypress Tree people are generally quite low-maintenance and they can easily adjust to nearly anything. Because they can survive in any situation and even find happiness in it, they are usually very mature and independent from a very early age. Usually quite happy with their lot in life, Cypress people don't crave success, nor do they hunger for money or recognition. Their only

I heard the Beastie Boys' singing: intergalactic planetary, planetary, intergalactic... That was my phone ringing. I saw your face and name on the screen so I didn't hesitate to pick it up. Eyes closed, I said hello and so the conversation goes. It's always nice to wake up in the morning and hear the sound of her voice regardless if it's only through the telephone. This is one of the simple pleasures life can somehow give. I'd love to have that as a routine - be the last person to talk to at night and the first one to talk to in the morning. I think that would be nice. I'm sure that would be nice. Waking up by the sound of her voice is indeed something I'll think of before going to bed each night. _______ Sent via BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I was having a Twitter-based conversation with Oyin few minutes back and I told her that most of our addictions are the things that people won't easily understand. She then asked me what's my own addiction and I replied, "it's too mushy to mention." I once heard someone said, "This is my favorite time of the day -- looking at you." I believe I share the same sentiment. I love staring at her when we're together. As I look at her I can think of hundreds of reason why I can't fall out of love. Wishful thinking floods my brain. I've been telling myself thousands of things whenever I look at her, things that I'm bound to keep unspoken, things that are better left unsaid. As I stare at her, I can see how wonderful nature is for such beauty to exist. Lucky is the man whom she regard as her lover. Fate has been too kind to that someone who's blessed with her presence. If the gods of love are real, they must have favored him so much to h