BLOTS

I guess, based on all that had happen, romance isn't really just for me. Perhaps I'm really that one person who's to spend his days growing old alone and lonely. Fate has long spoken, I just refused to listen. I feel so sad right now. I fell like going crazy at this very moment. I woke up with this tight feeling inside my chest that I can't seem to shake off. It's hard to get by each day and it gets harder as the days pass. I want this to end. I don't want to drag this any longer, but I guess I'm really that of a bad person so I still have to carry this burden a little longer. Here comes the pain, worse than yesterday. Mon, Jun 25, 2012 5:14:17 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Sometimes, when everything is all messed up, you ask yourself what just went wrong. I've been asking that question to myself for quite a while now but still I can't figure it out. Maybe my situation with her hasn't been right all along. Perhaps it has been a mistake since the beginning and asking what went wrong won't be appropriate. Yet, I still miss her. I still miss all the good times I had with the woman I love the most. In each broken days I still think of her smile, her voice, the warmth of her affection. I miss her, so bad. Sun, Jun 24, 2012 6:41:13 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will really be a point in your life when words won't be enough to explain how you really feel. All you will ever know is that you feel bad about everything. When your mind becomes the melting pot of all negative emotions namely sadness, pain, jealousy, frustration, anger - there won't really be a way to just turn the blind eye on it. It's that point when you'd just want to lie down and let everything pass since there's nothing more you can do. You embrace your own misery until it hurts so much it becomes a part of you. It eats you alive. It becomes who you are - just a walking miserable freak. Sat, Jun 23, 2012 8:12:52 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

There will always be a void One that can't be filled Stay put young man The fate has been sealed You can't bend reality You'll end up twisting your mind Stay away from wishful thinking Leave your fantasies behind There's nothing more you can do She's gone and won't be back Snap out of it quickly Got to get back on track Tue, Jun 19, 2012 9:57:01 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Listening to piano instrumental while sitting beside the woman I love the most Tue, Feb 14, 2012 7:58:58 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I woke up in the middle of the night and felt a sudden rush of sadness - those are the times I feel most alone. You see, bad things happen and things get too sad, I guess that's just how life is going to be, until when? Don't ask me, I don't know. You get by each day no matter what - that's the trick. It's ok if you're not "ok". It's fine if you're not "fine". It all boils down into one thing - you have live another day, and that's how most of us play it. Life sucks, life is unfair, life is full of sadness and pain, the hell we care. Life is evil and we have to live with it. That's how some of us see things but others see it otherwise. We are all in our own reality. This is my reality. This is life and it's not a pretty good picture. I don't hope for things to change because I've given up on that part, ie hoping. However, I still have this wishful thinking about things changing their course. I don't kno