BLOTS

I saw my old notebooks and read through some of the stuff that I wrote years ago. By doing so, I realized one thing - my life can be summarized as a big collection of unrealistic goals and wishful thinking. All I wrote about were nothing but pure longing. I wrote about love that can never be returned. I wrote about affection towards someone I can't be with. Those stuff were written several years ago and looking at where I stand now, nothing much has changed. I'm still in-love with someone I can't be with and still fighting for an affection I can't win. I'm really on the losing side when it comes to romance. Wed, Nov 27, 2013 4:13:51 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Looking back on the days When I can still genuinely smile Those were the finest I can recall I hope it lasted for a longer while Back when waking up is a blessing Days are something to look forward to When everything still makes sense Daydreaming and hopes, too Back when you're still here With the promises that you'll stay When you said you won't be like the rest And you'll never lose me in any way Looking back on those days Wrench a big chunk of myself Now that you carried on without me And I can't cry out for help You just moved on and left All of a sudden you've walked out Now I'm just like a piece of trash Useless and thrown out Are you happy now? Are you doing just fine? I guess it wouldn't matter You'll never be mine Wed, Nov 27, 2013 12:46:11 PM. Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what sadness really is? What do we know about it? What do we know about suffering and loss? What do we know about failures and frustrations? What do we know about the evil side of life? I think it's relative. Sadness can break someone though; break it to a point wherein it's already impossible to be put together. I guess that's the lowest point. When all you do doesn't make sense anymore, when all you hoped for slipped away from your hands, and all that you ever wanted is the same thing that you can never have, to some, that qualifies as sadness. You die everyday, or atleast you feel that you do. When that pain in your chest starts to feel like there's something scraping it from the inside, then I think you're in a bad shape. What's worse than falling asleep while being lulled by the sound of your heart breaking? Life goes on, or so they say it does. How frustrating it is when all you can do is to live and

I guess it applies in almost all situations - if you fall down, shake the dirt off and move on. Days can get so ugly sometimes. For sure a time will come when you fill like you already hit rock bottom only to realize that you're digging in further to the ground. The stench of earthly failures will never fail to reach our senses at some point. A very simple advise of shaking these off can come in handy...I hope. Sat, Nov 9, 2013 1:24:21 PM

I don't know why but I think I'm falling for the same trap again. I don't like emotional attachments, it doesn't seem to work for me. It feels like a big liability if you'll ask me. I'm now betting once more, another round of gambling my emotions for someone whom day by day I feel more affectionate. That's just how it is - once you acknowledge an emotion, it would be very hard not to entertain it. It's like a voice deep in you, teasing, provoking you to do things either in a good or bad ways. Another gamble, another bet, another shot at what human beings always have longed for and i.e. to be happy with someone you care about. Wed, Sep 25, 2013 09:54:47 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

You smile and I start to fall Never I thought it'll go this far Each passing day it grows further Looking forward to be where you are Everything about feels so right Signs seem to appear everywhere Obvious reasons were foretold Rendezvous with fate I dare Now to my emotion I yield And with these words I confess Don't ever doubt this, please Long before time put up its test In the end it'll still be up to you But from loving you I can't rest Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Let these words flow freely Everyday I've thought of doing so Now let me speak of this affection Yours is the one I want to know Reminding me of my youthful love Oh those good old mushy days Somewhat similar to what I'm feeling now Each time I see the smile on your face Best words can't explain this emotion I don't know if this is the worse part Let alone these butterflies on my stomach Down to the core of my very heart Anyway, I guess I'll just say I love you Never I would want us to be apart #love #romance #poetry Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

It has been a while I guess I'm a bit rusty But let me write these rhymes for you Though may not find it witty Remember I used to call you Summer Oh those Multiply poetry days Let me to this one more time Hoping I can find a pace Because today is your birthday Oh how nice can that be Another fruitful day in this world Hope you'll be filled with glee Be surrounded by friends Be treated special by family Do something stupid and crazy Hope this day will be your immunity Wishing you more happiness Calmness is the real beauty Take it easy as you go along Some life issues can be petty You've grown to a lovely lady I remember that first time I met you That was during your enrollment, ain't it From our most beloved State U There was a dinner after that I can still remember that spicy chao fan Funny it's been half a decade now But memories haven't gone Well it's a pleasure to know you I'm sure you'll make it big one

What's the greatest life lesson you've learned so far? They say that we always learn something new everyday, or atleast we try to. Some lessons come from great experiences, some were learned just by watching others as they screw up, but regardless the method, I guess it's in our genes to always aim for knowledge. There's this one life lesson that I've learned a little while back but one thing I can't seem to apply to myself - the lesson of knowing when to stop. I don't know how things have gone this far between us, all I can say is I really never saw this coming. Being with her is both the nicest and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never wanted anything but to spend time with her, hold her in my arms, share dreams with her in any way possible. I love her, and I love her in a way I haven't loved anyone else before. I love her so much that it hurts to realize that it's wrong to push it. They say emotions are amoral so it's neith

So the rain is pouring so hard again, it makes me feel uncomfortable leaving me sleepless. These thoughts I've been trying to shake off my mind seem to be taking advantage of the situation. They flood my mind like the rain water flooding the highways - I can't keep them from coming and all I can do is watch, aftermath included. I keep on telling myself that I'm not cut for serious relationship and all shit alike. Maybe I've convinced myself long before that romance isn't really for me. I would've been fine with it, not until now that I feel such deep longing for her. She whom I never thought will play significant role in my life. I guess I'm really screwed this time, am I not? I'm falling for her day after day, time after time, every single moment she's on my view...one thing that I can't afford to happen. Well, this sucks, really. Sat, Aug 24, 2013 18:42:06 Sent from my wireless handheld

"I guess it wasn't really meant to be," he told himself. The wind blows over his frail body as he pass by the deserted street. Memories flood his thoughts while aimlessly he walk in the night, wondering how things ended up the way they are right now. "Was it wrong to feel deep affection towards someone?" he asked. The cold night's response is nothing but silence. The universe has already spoken and it appears that it doesn't fancy repeating itself. "Well, this sucks," he exclaimed. "Some people really can't get what they deserve, but perhaps things just happen in random. Maybe all of these are just strings of random events woven without any clear intentions at all. If there's any divine existence behind these, that he or she must have a very awful sense of humour." He continued wandering the dark alleys as if inviting the danger of the city to approach him. "Let the hazards come, sometimes it can be the sweetes