BLOTS

salutations http://chelmsfordvolleyball.co.uk/globe.php?cross=c163z9hqsmc6cv David Andrew Lasala

I saw my old notebooks and read through some of the stuff that I wrote years ago. By doing so, I realized one thing - my life can be summarized as a big collection of unrealistic goals and wishful thinking. All I wrote about were nothing but pure longing. I wrote about love that can never be returned. I wrote about affection towards someone I can't be with. Those stuff were written several years ago and looking at where I stand now, nothing much has changed. I'm still in-love with someone I can't be with and still fighting for an affection I can't win. I'm really on the losing side when it comes to romance. Wed, Nov 27, 2013 4:13:51 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Looking back on the days When I can still genuinely smile Those were the finest I can recall I hope it lasted for a longer while Back when waking up is a blessing Days are something to look forward to When everything still makes sense Daydreaming and hopes, too Back when you're still here With the promises that you'll stay When you said you won't be like the rest And you'll never lose me in any way Looking back on those days Wrench a big chunk of myself Now that you carried on without me And I can't cry out for help You just moved on and left All of a sudden you've walked out Now I'm just like a piece of trash Useless and thrown out Are you happy now? Are you doing just fine? I guess it wouldn't matter You'll never be mine Wed, Nov 27, 2013 12:46:11 PM. Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what sadness really is? What do we know about it? What do we know about suffering and loss? What do we know about failures and frustrations? What do we know about the evil side of life? I think it's relative. Sadness can break someone though; break it to a point wherein it's already impossible to be put together. I guess that's the lowest point. When all you do doesn't make sense anymore, when all you hoped for slipped away from your hands, and all that you ever wanted is the same thing that you can never have, to some, that qualifies as sadness. You die everyday, or atleast you feel that you do. When that pain in your chest starts to feel like there's something scraping it from the inside, then I think you're in a bad shape. What's worse than falling asleep while being lulled by the sound of your heart breaking? Life goes on, or so they say it does. How frustrating it is when all you can do is to live and ...

I guess it applies in almost all situations - if you fall down, shake the dirt off and move on. Days can get so ugly sometimes. For sure a time will come when you fill like you already hit rock bottom only to realize that you're digging in further to the ground. The stench of earthly failures will never fail to reach our senses at some point. A very simple advise of shaking these off can come in handy...I hope. Sat, Nov 9, 2013 1:24:21 PM

I don't know why but I think I'm falling for the same trap again. I don't like emotional attachments, it doesn't seem to work for me. It feels like a big liability if you'll ask me. I'm now betting once more, another round of gambling my emotions for someone whom day by day I feel more affectionate. That's just how it is - once you acknowledge an emotion, it would be very hard not to entertain it. It's like a voice deep in you, teasing, provoking you to do things either in a good or bad ways. Another gamble, another bet, another shot at what human beings always have longed for and i.e. to be happy with someone you care about. Wed, Sep 25, 2013 09:54:47 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

You smile and I start to fall Never I thought it'll go this far Each passing day it grows further Looking forward to be where you are Everything about feels so right Signs seem to appear everywhere Obvious reasons were foretold Rendezvous with fate I dare Now to my emotion I yield And with these words I confess Don't ever doubt this, please Long before time put up its test In the end it'll still be up to you But from loving you I can't rest Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Let these words flow freely Everyday I've thought of doing so Now let me speak of this affection Yours is the one I want to know Reminding me of my youthful love Oh those good old mushy days Somewhat similar to what I'm feeling now Each time I see the smile on your face Best words can't explain this emotion I don't know if this is the worse part Let alone these butterflies on my stomach Down to the core of my very heart Anyway, I guess I'll just say I love you Never I would want us to be apart #love #romance #poetry Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

It has been a while I guess I'm a bit rusty But let me write these rhymes for you Though may not find it witty Remember I used to call you Summer Oh those Multiply poetry days Let me to this one more time Hoping I can find a pace Because today is your birthday Oh how nice can that be Another fruitful day in this world Hope you'll be filled with glee Be surrounded by friends Be treated special by family Do something stupid and crazy Hope this day will be your immunity Wishing you more happiness Calmness is the real beauty Take it easy as you go along Some life issues can be petty You've grown to a lovely lady I remember that first time I met you That was during your enrollment, ain't it From our most beloved State U There was a dinner after that I can still remember that spicy chao fan Funny it's been half a decade now But memories haven't gone Well it's a pleasure to know you I'm sure you'll make it big one ...

What's the greatest life lesson you've learned so far? They say that we always learn something new everyday, or atleast we try to. Some lessons come from great experiences, some were learned just by watching others as they screw up, but regardless the method, I guess it's in our genes to always aim for knowledge. There's this one life lesson that I've learned a little while back but one thing I can't seem to apply to myself - the lesson of knowing when to stop. I don't know how things have gone this far between us, all I can say is I really never saw this coming. Being with her is both the nicest and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never wanted anything but to spend time with her, hold her in my arms, share dreams with her in any way possible. I love her, and I love her in a way I haven't loved anyone else before. I love her so much that it hurts to realize that it's wrong to push it. They say emotions are amoral so it's neith...

So the rain is pouring so hard again, it makes me feel uncomfortable leaving me sleepless. These thoughts I've been trying to shake off my mind seem to be taking advantage of the situation. They flood my mind like the rain water flooding the highways - I can't keep them from coming and all I can do is watch, aftermath included. I keep on telling myself that I'm not cut for serious relationship and all shit alike. Maybe I've convinced myself long before that romance isn't really for me. I would've been fine with it, not until now that I feel such deep longing for her. She whom I never thought will play significant role in my life. I guess I'm really screwed this time, am I not? I'm falling for her day after day, time after time, every single moment she's on my view...one thing that I can't afford to happen. Well, this sucks, really. Sat, Aug 24, 2013 18:42:06 Sent from my wireless handheld

"I guess it wasn't really meant to be," he told himself. The wind blows over his frail body as he pass by the deserted street. Memories flood his thoughts while aimlessly he walk in the night, wondering how things ended up the way they are right now. "Was it wrong to feel deep affection towards someone?" he asked. The cold night's response is nothing but silence. The universe has already spoken and it appears that it doesn't fancy repeating itself. "Well, this sucks," he exclaimed. "Some people really can't get what they deserve, but perhaps things just happen in random. Maybe all of these are just strings of random events woven without any clear intentions at all. If there's any divine existence behind these, that he or she must have a very awful sense of humour." He continued wandering the dark alleys as if inviting the danger of the city to approach him. "Let the hazards come, sometimes it can be the sweetes...

Line one Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I can no longer remember the exact words but I can recall how Brock Lesnar defined the true meaning of friendship in reference to Kurt Angle. Brock said, "Friendship is the art of using someone to help you achieve your personal goals. Once they stop serving their purpose, they stop being your friend." I guess, after several years, my brain suddenly remembered those words after being placed in a similar situation. It's human nature, perhaps, that people will just really be there as long as they benefit from your company. Some, but not all, are really those types who will profess friendship yet when time comes that they won't need you anymore, they're gone just like that. I can't say that it's wrong but I'm definitely not saying that it's right. I guess the perfect word will be 'understandable'. In the end of the day, I think it's still a good thing to finally know what kind of an individual that person really is - for better but n...

All the cards have been laid down No more questions left unanswered What you is what you get now Nothing can be altered But I still miss you here Oh I guess I really do I still want you near Yeah, nothing but you You can say it's pointless Feelings come and go I'm believe this is madness But I just want you to know That some feelings never die It's a cycle that never ends It's a twisted reality One thing we can't bend Tue, Nov 27, 2012 16:11:44 #Love #Romance #Longing #Poetry Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

I watch her with my mind's eye in this very monotonous and gloomy afternoon. As my stare wanders around the room, her memories seem to roam around in every corner of my mind. She who made me feel different after a long time, the special woman whose presence brought the most unique feelings and emotions I have ever felt, she who made me feel loved - her thoughts still linger, I just can't chase them away. It was all lie, one lie after another and all misleading gestures - my mind suddenly interrupted my daydreaming. It was really foolish to believe that things can end differently when since day one, everything is already doomed to end up in the ugliest way. I was stupid back then, I guess things didn't change that much. I watch her with my mind's eye as my recollections of her flood my remaining sanity. I guess this is just the price some of us need to pay. Mon, Nov 19, 2012 17:19:25 Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Pain is no longer a peculiar feeling. It has become something that's part of a daily occurance that I learned to live with, but there's one thing that puzzles me - why can't I get used to it? I guess I'll never know. All I'm aware of is everyday is such a burden to bear, everyday is like a struggle to get by, everyday is the worst day ever. I often tell people that it's just right to hold on and hope that one day, the tables will turn and life will be better - this is one thing I'd love to believe. I hope that's true. I'm wishing that one day, things will get better and the pain and sadness will be a little more tolerable. You don't get over pain, you just get used to it, and as days pass by, I wonder when will the pain stop to hurt. I guess I'll never know. Sun, Oct 7, 2012 10:28:55 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

For the longest time, I think I've mastered the art of getting by. Living each day functioning well as how you should be is the way to survive life. Laugh as loud as you can, do silly things that will keep your adrenaline pumping and don't ever look back on things you've already left behind. I feel my life is all about sadness and pain, and that's how it really is but I don't mind. I can live each day doing what I do best - getting by, but sometimes, I just have to give in to sadness, I have to take off the gameface and stare at reality straight in its eyes. I miss her, more proper term would be, I long for her. I want to wake up one morning seeing her by my side. I want to feel her embrace in the middle of cold night. I want to be the reason behind her smile and her to be the reason behind my happiness. I want to live my life feeling her presence each and every day. I want to be with her but fate has been sealed - it will never happen. Truth makes me sad and ju...

I let a pretty girl step in the elevator first. She said thank you then there were 30 floors of silence but I was surprised when she looked back and smiled at me before she stepped out. I guess chivalry is still being rewarded these days, LOL. Tue, Sep 25, 2012 8:02:33 PM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

So I deactivated my Facebook account just about an hour ago then someone asked me why. I replied, "I'm sick of what I'm seeing there, I may be just too old for that shit." I guess that pretty much is true. I guess I've outgrown the fuss of social networking and grew tired of all the drama and non-sense that I'm seeing, I've got too much drama on my own. I should start deleting some of the Facebook related apps eventually. I'm just too old for those shit. Sun, Sep 23, 2012 7:36:45 AM Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld