BLOTS

I resigned now to my fate Enough tensions in my head Don’t want to think about this anymore Too much has been done and said I submit to you with my soul Your will shall be my destiny But oh my merciful Lord I ask Please care enough to grace me Grace me with some calmness So nightmares won’t be usual Grace me with compassion So thoughts won’t be too cynical Grace me with good judgment So I won’t stumble with my faults Grace me love for my enemies So desires for revenge will halt Now all I ask Is all I’ll ever need To get through this daze That now I’m dealing with If it’s not too much, I lastly ask Lord grace me with someone to hold I know the roads ahead are rough And perhaps, nights will be so cold

sabado, 2 sana ang plano kong gawin, kumain ng popcorn habang nanonood ng sine o kaya naman manood ng sine habang kumakain ng popcorn. naisip kong isama yung kaibigan ko kaya naglogin ako sa YM para makausap siya pero sa intro pa lang sopla na kaagad. tinanong ko siya kung may lakad siya after work, wala daw pero matutulog siya ng maaga. makikipagkompetensiya ba ako sa comfort na ibibigay ng kama niya? naisip ko na wag na lang. isang sad face na emoticon lang ang naisagot ko. sabi ko never mind. ang nakakatawa, binantaan niya ako na lalabas daw yung kamay niya sa monitor at sasampalin ako kapag di ko sinabi. naalala ko tuloy si sadako. kahit tinakot niya ako, di ko pa rin sinabi ung plano ko... plano na nanantili na lang na plano.yun ang unang kamalasan, ito yung pangalawa: dahil wala na akong nagagamit na cel ngayon, naisip ko na baka pwede ko na lang siyang tawagan kahit paminsan-minsan lang sa landline. tinanong ko kung pwede pero di siya pumayag... indirect yung sagot niya pero yun...

I never thought you'll be just another pain on the list when loving you all along is what I'm reluctant to resist. Some say this affection is quite dumb and insane but what the hell is the deal with these tears and pain? Now that you're with him, I can't seem to react. I can just stare away but you know I don't play that. Maybe I need to deal with this sadness right now. Try be numb or just get use to it somehow because it seems I really can never be with you, you're just like a fairy tale that won't come true. SO go on and sail by my friend, my love. Perhaps friendship is the only thing we can ever have. wala lang to, di based sa tunay na emosyon... hehehe!

nakakatawa... oo, natatawa ako sa sarili ko.. mukha akong engot.. natatakot ako sa wala... hehehe! communication... kelangan talaga ng communication! wahahaha! sorry kung di mo naintindihan, hehehe!

Can I wonder where could you be right now when it seems i can't be with you anyhow? Can I dream to be lying next to you when reality barred it from being true? Can I hope that one day you'll be here with me if time will just wither it eventually? Can I believe that happy endings will soon come if it is fate that which I can't understand I can because now I'm doing so. If it's crazy then it's the last insanity I'll know. I know one day I'll stare straight in your brown eyes then I'll have these dreams finally realized

bakit kaya ganun pero siguro ganun talaga. pag-ibig.. magulo pero di naman talaga magulo, nakaklito pero di naman nakakalito. baliw na yata... hehehe! natatakot ako... wala lang... takot lang... adik ka talaga!

bumangon ka na juan hahayaan mo bang amagin na lang ang buko pie patuloy sa pagtakbo ang oras di ito hihinto at maghihintay isa pa, tumatangis na ang iyong bayan dinggin mo ang kaynyang pagususumamo humihingi ng pagmamalasaki tumaasa sa kahit kaunting pagbabago mga ginintuang aral at kultura tila naipit na lang sa pahina ng mga aklat mga tinatayang pag-asa ng bayan masdam mo kung saan sila iminumulat mga baluktot na katwiran at paniniwala sa lipunan na tila isang masukal na gubat naghahari ang siyang malalakas sinasamantala ang mga salat masdam mo ang iyong mga kababayan habang itinatapon ang kaayusan at disiplina maging hiya sa kanilang mga sarili tuluyan nang ipinag-walang bahala isang masama at nakahihilakbot na kultura nagbabadyang lumamon sa iyong bayan kultura ng karahasan at pagkagahaman kumilos ka at huwag itong hayaan bumangon ka na juan magsilbi kang tanglaw sa kadiliman tulad nina red one, green two, blue three, yellow four at pink five ipaglaban mo ang katiwasayan at...

Washed by pain memories of past lying beside oblivion Unremembered Got numb by bleeding in gravest sorrow happy thoughts Forgotten Mournful whistle embraced the asleep cradled by tears Forsaken City of melancholy hurt dwellers living with paranoia Haunted Sanity is but a nightmare spawning misery died at will Stolen