BLOTS

Sometimes, being able to get by is one of the most surprising thing you’ll find in your life…to some, at least. A friend of mine said she’s having a good morning and I said in return, “good for you, most of the time, ‘good morning’ is just a spiel”.  She said I’m being so negative. I don’t know why I said that to be honest. Well, maybe because I’m being an arse. Hence I asked myself, when was the last time I said “good morning” in a way that I actually meant it? When was the last time I said “Oh I’m doing good” without me meaning otherwise? Oh well, I guess it has been a little while. See, being able to get by each day amid all the crap doesn’t mean that you’re getting by just fine. Maybe, you’re just getting by…and that’s it.

Today, I miss her more than how I did yesterday. It sucks, I know, but that's not the worst part, the worst part is the fact that there's nothing more to do to have the yearning be eased. Sometimes it happens, you end up longing for someone and that's it, that's the only thing you can do. Still, the yearning continues to burn like a fire that keeps you going...and possibly end up as the very same fire that will consume your sanity in the very end. I'm aware of the worst case scenario and yet, I still can't help but miss her...more than how I did yesterday. Muffin.

Sometimes, all you need to do is put up that game face so that nobody will recognize what's really wrong or how twisted you presently are. I guess that's one skill most of us have to master completely. This world, and life in whole, can definitely bring someone down, but as you get by each day, one important tool is not to show your soft spot, especially when it comes to a point that your ego is all you've got left. Who would want to see a miserable freak anyway? Nobody, I guess. There are so many things I can't understand at the present time. It's not good for acceptance begins with understanding. How can you expect to accept something to can't comprehend. For the time being, though, the wisest move is to get by each day, put that game face on and hope that the day after or the day after that will be something unusual. Monotony can be dreadful, believe me. I don't know. Maybe I'm not really making any sense as I type these words, but it's my blo...

Now here's this feeling I just can't explain Whenever you smile Oh I forget my name Things go on slo-mo Colorful it became My heart skips faster Some say it's insane I guess I've fallen I've fallen for you I can't escape your charm Hits me through and through Now I must confess I can't get you off my mind You're all I can think of I think it's love I did find Yes I've fallen I've fallen for you Captive of your charm Got me through and through

I learned, first hand, that life can really bend someone down. Life can get so ugly but along with that lesson I learned one simple trick to get by i.e. always manage live another day.  No matter how pointless things get, no matter how random things appear against your favor, no matter how you feel awful about the string of events, just always be sure that you'll be able to get by the next 24hrs.  A come-what-may and live-by-the-day attitude might develop, but sometimes, those are what you'll ever need. Live another day. It feels like a command than a thought. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow the tables will all turn.

It has been a gloomy week for me, and no wonder, it'll be a gloomy weekend, too. I don't know, for some reasons, things suddenly have gone from bad to worse and maybe it's fair to expect that the worse will even get worst in the next coming days. I always get by, anyway. That's one trick in life; no matter how depress you become, all you need to do is to live another day and hope that "the other day" will be a better one. So what would it be after this gloomy weekend that I foresee? I don't know. Birthday month is coming and I hope for just one thing... Just one...

Life will reveal its lessons when you're ready to learn. I don't know from where, but I'm sure I read that somewhere. Maybe that's just how life goes. It'll make you feel that you have so many things to know, so many things to understand yet it'll puzzle you day after day. There are so many things I can't understand as of this very moment, but it's now time to stop asking questions. Maybe, just maybe, the smartest move is to live by the day...